Welcome back, Wyrdo's! We all love getting stuck into the ancient myths of Wessex, but sometimes, the news gives us a little peek at the modern 'wyrd'.
This week, we've trawled the headlines for the most peculiar and outlandish stories from the fringes of politics, space, and the spooky season. So, grab a cuppa and let's dive into the weirdest news of the day.
Classified Files and Carnivorous Crabs
Political distractions sometimes turn into genuinely weird news stories, and this case is no different. President Donald Trump recently announced his intent to declassify secret government records related to the 1937 disappearance of aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart, a move that feels increasingly like scraping the historical barrel.
While the President busies himself with paperwork, researchers have been making their own progress. Newly discovered aerial photos from 1938 show a mysterious anomaly on a remote South Pacific island named Nikumaroro. Researchers believe this strange metallic object, spotted just a year after Earhart vanished, could be the wreckage of her legendary Lockheed 10E Electra. An expedition is already underway to investigate this "smoking gun proof."
This ties into the persistent and gruesome theory that Earhart, and her navigator Fred Noonan, survived the initial crash only to die on the uninhabited island. The most terrifying end for the pilot? Being devoured by the island's giant, semi-land-based carnivorous crabs.
Brucie’s Spectral Catchphrase
In the world of celebrity spooks, the ghost of legendary British TV host Sir Bruce Forsyth is allegedly haunting the London Palladium. His ashes were interred beneath the stage after his death in 2017, and a paranormal specialist claims she heard his spectral voice during a recent visit. The ghost, she asserts, echoed Bruce’s famous catchphrase: “Nice to see you, to see you nice!” This claim comes from vocalist Brocard, who previously claimed to have wed—and subsequently divorced—a devilishly handsome Victorian soldier ghost named Eduardo after less than a year of marriage.
The Hardman of Children’s TV
In casting news that’s both brutal and bizarre, Paul Chuckle, one half of the famously wholesome BBC children's comedy act 'The Chuckle Brothers', is taking a turn as a gangster. Chuckle will star as a hardman named The Jackal in a new brutal mobster movie, swapping his famous catchphrase “To me, to you” for what promises to be gruesome hits. It seems the loss of his brother has led to a cinematic 'breaking bad' moment.
The Giant Hairy Space-Junk
A strange discovery was made on an Argentinian farm after a giant, hairy object smashed into the land. The carbon fibre cylinder, measuring nearly 6ft long, baffled bomb experts and local police. The most unusual feature was that it was covered in strange black fibres that look like hair. While likely to be burnt space junk from a rocket re-entry, the hirsute nature of the debris gives the whole incident a delightfully eerie twist.
The Fart Spray Fiasco
A teaching assistant in South Carolina, USA, found himself in court after repeatedly using a highly illegal and foul-smelling fart spray at a high school, causing students to suffer from headaches and nausea. The modern act of flatulence pales in comparison to the 'Deadliest Fart in History'. According to ancient accounts, a Roman soldier back in 66 AD deliberately farted in a sacred temple in Jerusalem, sparking a riot that led to the deaths of over 10,000 people.
That’s all the truly bizarre news we could fit in this week! Hopefully, it’s given you a few things to ponder.
Until next time,
Don't blame the owls!