The Dorset coastline, famed for its sandy beaches and blue waters, holds a deep secret. Venture beyond the sun loungers and you'll find a world of audacious crime, literary relics, and genuinely baffling hauntings. Join us, your Wyrdo's, as we delve into the dark, weird heart of Bournemouth and the ancient port of Poole.
Part I: Bournemouth — Engineered Air and Gothic Relics
Bournemouth was not built by accident; it was meticulously engineered in 1810 as a health and leisure resort. Even the town’s famous pine trees were planted for a medicinal purpose—their vapours were intended to help cure people with chest problems. They literally engineered the air!
Despite this planned, respectable exterior, its history is anything but ordinary.
The Smuggler King Who Faked His Own Funeral
Before the Victorians arrived, the area was a barren heathland, the perfect domain for criminals. The most notorious was Isaac Gulliver, the self-proclaimed Smuggler King.
Born a Wiltshire weirdo, Gulliver ran a massive criminal enterprise in the 18th century, reportedly shifting over £100,000 worth of smuggled goods a year (millions in today's currency). His network was sophisticated, dealing in silks, fine wines, and tea.
His masterstroke, however, was his escape. When authorities finally closed in, Gulliver and his family faked his death. They held an elaborate funeral with a closed casket and a full procession, which the customs officials watched with respectful solemnity. Gulliver was literally carried away from his arrest right under their noses. He later secured a royal pardon, went legit, and died a wealthy man in 1827. Even today, some claim to hear the sound of his lone horse galloping on dark, foggy nights, making one final, restless run.
Mary Shelley's Gruesome Relic
Just as bizarre as its criminal past is Bournemouth's connection to one of the most famous figures in Gothic literature: Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein.
She is buried at St Peter's Church. But it is the bizarre relic resting in her vault that truly embodies the Gothic spirit. When her husband, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, drowned off the coast of Italy, his body was cremated on the beach. According to those present, the fire was so fierce that while the body was reduced to ashes, one thing remained: his intact heart.
Mary Shelley cherished this gruesome object, wrapping it in silk and carrying it with her for decades. Historians debate if it was truly the heart or perhaps a calcified liver, but ultimately, it doesn't matter. The beautiful, horrible truth is that Mary thought it was his heart and kept the preserved relic with her until she died—a deeply weird and fitting end for the author of a story about reanimating the dead.
The Headless Moaning Maharaja
You might think a former military hospital would be haunted by soldiers, and you'd be right (a weary WWI soldier is said to take a drink from the basement sink). However, the most bizarre haunting at Bournemouth Town Hall—a building converted into a military hospital during WWI—is on the fourth floor.
Here, a spectral figure is reportedly seen sitting in a chair: the ghost of a headless, moaning Maharaja, clad in full ornate Indian uniform. How does a ghost lose his head? And how does he moan without it? No one knows. But as far as unique ghosts go, a headless, moaning Maharaja in the middle of a seaside town certainly takes the crown.
Part II: Poole — Maritime Misery and a Chicken Mystery
Just down the coast, the ancient port of Poole—with its deep roots in maritime life, piracy, and smuggling—is steeped in its own layer of weirdness.
The Crying Twins and the Chatty Loo Spectre
The Crown Hotel on Market Street is the cornerstone of Poole’s spectral clientele. The most tragic tale involves the ghostly twins of a former owner, said to have been kept chained and hidden in an upstairs room. Guests and staff report hearing the chilling sounds of children crying, yelling, and innocently playing in the empty courtyard.
Yet, the Crown's hauntings also feature a level of charming absurdity. One of the most famous anecdotes involves a guest having a perfectly mundane chat with a man in the toilet, only for the man to dramatically vanish mid-sentence. Apparently, the shock was so intense the witness needed a restorative glass of brandy to recover. That’s how you know it’s a good ghost—it makes the customer need hard liquor!
The Ultimate Coastal Cryptid: The Mer-Chicken
Poole’s maritime history boasts genuine rogues, like Captain Harry Pay, the 15th-century privateer who raided the coasts of France and Spain. But the most baffling piece of local folklore belongs to the Isle of Portland nearby.
According to 15th-century chronicles, a peculiar beast rose from the water: a Mer-Chicken.
Yes, a half-man, half-chicken creature. It reportedly rose from the sea, rode in the direction of north, south, east, and west, before returning down into the water, never to be seen again. Was it a genuine cryptid, a medieval warning, or just a chicken someone tried to throw into the water?
One could suggest that the mer-chicken was in the sea because it couldn't cross the road, but it certainly secures Portland’s place in the Wyrd Wessex pantheon.
Uncanny and Folk: Modern Weirdness
Finally, the region continues its engagement with the weird and wonderful.
The Wessex Museums partnership is currently touring the fantastic Uncommon People: Folk Culture in Wessexexhibition, curated by Simon Costin of The Museum of British Folklore. It’s a brilliant look at how folk culture has been adopted and reimagined in the area. Catch it at Poole Museum from late October 2025 to 18th January 2026.
The recent live show of Danny Robins’ Uncanny nearby proved that while audiences might be split on ghosts and UFOs, the line is drawn at cryptids. A fascinating insight into modern belief!
From smugglers' secrets to headless spectres and the ultimate fowl-play cryptid, the Bournemouth and Poole area proves that even the sunniest resorts have a deep, enduring, and utterly bizarre underbelly.