Welcome back, Wyrdo’s! This week, the AfterWyrd bonus podcast, hosted by myself (Craig) and Andy, saw us dive headfirst into the very heart of the strange and the supernatural. From occult gifts to an unprecedented medical calamity caused by a popular sweet, here is the deeper dive into the oddest stories of the week.
Autumnal Gifts and a Despicable Minion Disaster
The season has properly changed, ushering in the 'pumpkin orange' aesthetic, which, as Andy pointed out, I seem to be physically embodying. My own recent birthday haul was suitably wyrd, including the fascinating deep dive of The Exorcist Files and a beautiful new Nordic Tarot Deck. However, the domestic peace was quickly shattered by the madness of the Wyrd News.
We covered the utterly bonkers story of a gentleman from Barnsley who landed himself in hospital after embarking on a three-day, three-kilogram binge of cola bottle sweets. Doctors were, understandably, baffled—until an internal investigation revealed he was completely blocked up with gelatine. His condition, acute diverticulitis, led to an "astronomically high" blood pressure reading. It is a stark, if hilarious, reminder that even the most seemingly harmless sugary treats can become a health hazard when consumed at industrial scale. We are looking forward to the inevitable film adaptation.
In a related vein of low-brow chaos, we also reported on a Despicable Minion toy causing a severe plumbing blockage in Sheffield. It seems the universe is actively using inanimate objects to remind us of life's absurdities.
The Hopi Prophecy and the Occult Collector
The news then took a sharper political-paranormal turn with the resurfacing of the Hopi tribal prophecy. This ancient Native American prophecy speaks of the 'True White Brother' who will appear at the end of the Fourth World, noted by his being "all-powerful" and wearing a "red cap or red cloak."
While elders of the Hopi caution against literal interpretations, modern conspiracists have latched onto the 'red cap' as a blatant, uncanny prediction of a certain former US President. The prophecy also mentions two wise, powerful helpers—one with the symbol of the swastika (which the Hopi state represents purity/life, though we noted the obvious problematic modern context) and one with the sign of the sun. It is pure, high-grade conspiracy fuel and well worth a deep-dive on its own.
To round off the section, we flagged an upcoming London occult exhibition at the Waterloo Vaults featuring genuine, ceremonial artefacts, including a staff once owned by the infamous ceremonial magician Aleister Crowley. A perfect day out for any Wyrdo.
The Alien DNA Hypothesis: Is the Truth Inside Us?
The show’s main Wyrd News item took us into the deepest realms of controversial science: the Alien DNA Hypothesis.
Andy introduced a preliminary, un-peer-reviewed study conducted by Max Rempel, which proposes that extraterrestrial beings have genetically modified the human genome. Rempel’s analysis of the 1000 Genomes Project claims to have identified large fragments of non-parental DNA sequences in children that match neither human parent. Crucially, the non-parental fragments appeared in children born before 1990, predating widespread use of advanced human genetic modification tools like CRISPR. Rempel suggests the required precision for these insertions points to an advanced, non-human technology.
The Wyrdo's explored the most mind-bending speculation this research inspires: that these genetic 'aberrations' are linked to neurodivergent traits and may even be the source of latent abilities such as telepathy. It’s a theory that ties in perfectly with the claims from the popular podcast Telepathy\ Tapes, challenging our entire understanding of human evolution.
The Great Haunting Count: Why is Dorset Being Robbed?
Finally, we tackled a piece of news close to our hearts: the UK’s Most Haunted Counties. A recent study, using the Paranormal Database (a massive online repository of reported sightings), placed Essex and Sussex at the top of the league table for spectral occurrences.
However, as a true Wyrdo, I had to voice my righteous indignation at the rankings. We pointed out that while the list is interesting, the methodology seems flawed. When counties like Suffolk are placed highly due to numerous reports from Rendlesham Forest—a location famous primarily for a UFO incident—it muddies the waters. Crop circles, UFOs, and Minions in toilets are all Wyrd, but they are not the same as a haunting. Dorset, a county dripping in ancient, dark history, deserves a much higher spot on any definitive list of the UK’s spookiest locales.
Don’t blame the Owls!